A life not lived…

A life not lived.

As I stood there in the total darkness, my deepest fear came to the surface..."A life not lived".

On a recent trip to Cancun, Mexico, we decided to go on an excursion to some local caves, know as Rio Secreto. I'll be honest, the first part of our day was blah. We expected to be swimming through the caves at the start, but instead we went for a hike, biked to another location and then repelled into a cave. By the time the swimming through the cave portion came, we were less than impressed.

But I was keeping an open mind.

So as we suited up into our wetsuits, lifejackets, and helmets, I got excited again.

We made our way to the caves, after stopping to have a shaman pray over our trip into the caves. Part of me tried to disengage and dismiss the whole thing, but on the inside, I was pretty excited about swimming through the caves.

About 40 minutes into this hour long trek, we stopped in a very large cave. The water was crystal clear and you could see small cat fish and shrimp swimming around. The depth of the water varied from a few inches to several feet. Our tour guide stopped us and told us we were going to hang here for a few minutes. He told us to all turn off our flashlights and close our eyes. He kept his light on as he led us through a brief meditation and as he turned his light off, he asked us to keep our eyes closed a bit longer.

After several moments, he told us to open our eyes.

Total darkness.

We were well into the cave and there was no sign of light.

He had warned us that our fears could come to the surface as your mind tried to make sense of the darkness.

As I stood, there I feared asking for my fear to show up, I worried what it would be. But given the moment, I chose to go there...

"A life not lived".

Upon realizing this fear, I felt a wave of love wash over me and a renewed sense of life.

To be continued...