Are you letting your inner toddler run your day?

When we don’t use our emotional intelligence, it’s like letting a toddler run our day.

I’ll admit, I’m absolutely guilty of this from time to time and I’m getting better every day, but this wasn’t something I was always good at.

I’d wake up so excited for an incredible day and then my kids would act like a bunch of fireworks, setting one another off until I felt like I was going to lose it. And then if they didn’t stop or I was unable to respond consciously, I would react compulsively and attempt to make my kiddos feel the wrath of my emotions.

I’m sure you’ve been there before.

You’re feeling frustrated or annoyed and inadvertently, take out this frustration or annoyance on someone else. For many of us, we usually unload on a loved one- our spouse or kids or even employee.

And while it is great to let our emotions out, it is not great to “vomit” them on someone else.

So what’s the alternative??

Practice emotional intelligence.

This means, when I feel my emotions start to take over, I breath. I come back into my body and feel the emotion where it is. And once I’ve identified it, I can actively choose how I really want to respond.

For instance, I remember a trip to the store with my girls, my youngest lost her mind because I only let her get one toy instead of two. She stomped her feet, screamed at the top of her lungs and flailed as I scooped her up and headed towards the door.

My inner toddler wanted to scream back at her for making a scene.

She continued to scream as we headed out the store and as I put her in the car. Once in the car, she really let loose and screeched in the back seat as loud as she could. It was so loud my other daughter started to scream back at her.

I asked her to stop and told her, the youngest would eventually settle down.

All the while, I was taking deep breaths, reminding myself of how I wanted to respond and that my inner toddler was not in charge.

After several minutes the hysteria ended and my youngest composed herself. As she did, she apologized for losing her mind and yelling at me. I thanked her and told her I still loved her.

This is emotional intelligence and very different from shoving my emotions down.

I want to respond intelligently all the time, but sometimes I stumble and my inner toddler loses her mind. When this happens, I merely forgive myself and try again next time, because I truly desire more peace throughout my day. It takes daily discipline to embody this and even then there are so many layers.

If you’d love to be less reactive and more responsive - this is the work I support my clients with. Because let's face it, the toddler version of you is NOT going to help you create success. Message me about my available mentorship spots and through a brief chat, we'll see if we're a good fit and if we are we could start this week.