Why not me?
Tears streaming down my face, I sat there sobbing uncontrollably.
Why not me?
Why was I an unlucky one?
Why couldn’t I figure it out?
Why did everyone else seem to get it?
What was I doing wrong?
Why wasn’t I good enough?
The questions continue to flow for what felt like hours. I didn’t fight them. The emotions all came to the surface.
And then slowly, subtly, I felt a shift. The slightest change…
Why not, me?
Why could I not be a lucky one?
Why was I not good enough?
Why wasn’t it working for me?
Lighter.
Softer now.
Why not me?
Why was it working for everyone else but me?
Lighter still.
Why not me?
Lighter again.
Why not me?
The tears stopped.
Why not me?
Hope begin to rise within.
Why not me?
Excitement begin to build.
Why not me?
Joy begin to come.
Why not me?
Why not me?
There was no reason I couldn’t also have the life I dreamed of. The visions I hope for. There was nothing that made anyone else better than me. No one is more worthy than me.
Why not me?
The only thing stopping me was a choice. One small decision to choose what I wanted. Not what happened in my past, but what I wanted for me right now in this present moment.
Why not me?