I’ve learned to not take what my kids say personally.

I’ve learned to not take what my kids say personally.

When my 13yo daughter was complaining about the way I’m coaching her middle school soccer team, I listened objectively.

It could have been so easy to take it personally, but that would have gotten us nowhere.

I listened as she explained that I don’t coach like her travel soccer coach and that she doesn’t agree with the warmups, stretching, and drills I do.

I could have cried myself to sleep that night.

Instead, I listened to her opinions and told her I would in fact never be like her travel coach because he has decades of experience. I told her I’d be happy to hear her suggestions and made sure she was in fact okay with me coaching the team. I reminded her that I would be okay not coaching her if that’s what she really wanted.

This was a hard conversation for me, but I want my kids to always be able to speak with my honestly and for that I cannot take what they say personally. I do guide them on how to approach uncomfortable subjects with their peers and adults in their life, but my top priority is they are safe to come to me with anything and I’ve always promised to be honest with them.

Additional tip: I tell my children when I’m prepared and not prepared for these kinds of conversations, as I want to be in the best space to really hear them.